I never used to like ‘end of year’; for some reason in my past it used to cause me a sense of anguish that I was ‘losing’ something because something was ‘finishing’ – I was never great with change or new, my senses and feelings would reel and I’d often emotionally get lost.
I could never quite embrace the understanding that endings also mean new beginnings and new beginnings can be uplifting, exciting and energising. However, I think its important to:-
“Tune inward and recognise what is ending and be grateful for all it held so you can let go and have space to be open to receive the new” – Robbi Mack
One way I prepare myself emotionally for the end of year is to prepare my physical environment. I now deliberately and consciously ‘purge’ at the end of the year both environmentally and emotionally. This helps me let go of the old and create space in my home and in my heart for the new.
So this week I began my ‘end of year release ritual’ (because rituals build resilience!) and started with what I find the hardest of all, the wardrobe!! (dramatic music sfx da da da dah!) I think there have been few women that can say that their wardrobe never confronts them. At times to me it has signified ‘what I was’ and it can be hard to let this go if there is a longing to be that again, whether that’s a particular size or a particular style of who you were and how it represented you in the world.
This has started first of all (and hardest of all) with removing ALL of my ‘former size’ from the wardrobe that each day has depleted me and lead me to self-loathe – yep, peri-menopause, medication and the mayhem of mothering has all contributed to unwanted weight gain these past few years and I’ve lost count of how long I’ve been ‘trying to lose weight’ – so this year I am letting go of the old perspective that I must be a certain size and weight to be the best me and embracing my new middle aged body – tah dah!! (never thought I’d hear those words –big yay!)
It however beautifully coincides with a time in my life when I have embraced more of me than ever, where I have claimed and owned more of who I am, the way I am and even more importantly how I show up in the world with what I do, and I have more certainty than ever of who I wish to be in the world – that’s got to be better than trying to be a certain size! (I am however still in pursuit of health and balance.)
On a practical level, I am currently working with a new self-imposed ‘rule of two’ (and I’ve already found ways around it – I crack myself up at times!) but the theory is ‘one in the wash and one to wear’, I’m applying this to towels, sheets and other linen as well. Already the space in my wardrobe is increasing and I can feel the calm of knowing what I have and where it is!
Happy End of Year!